We’re just Kids, LLOYD’S KIDS

WHO WE ARE: We grew up in a family of six: Mom, Dad, three sisters and The Toxic Avenger, a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength. Our dad, Lloyd Kaufman, who created Toxie, is the founding president of Troma Entertainment, the ultra-low budget genre bending movie studio.

WHAT WE ARE DOING: We, Lloyd Kaufman’s Three Daughters are writing a TROMEMOIR, with art and sidebars from the dear TROMA fans that have made it possible for Troma to exist for over 35 years of producing truly independent film.

OUR STORY: This is a typical coming of age story: cult film maker specializing in big shock, small clothing, and 35mm gore meets beautiful intelligent southern belle debutante. Cult Film maker and Intelligent Southern Belle fall in love, raise three daughters according to a strict value system of manners, morals and education while producing “art” through explosive vomit and gallons of fake blood. Yes, dear reader, we are proposing just another feel good fantastical reality based chicken Indian zombie romance historical novel.

When we were growing up, press conferences in our house, CNN, mutants, fans with Toxie tattoos on their arms, the Wall Street Journal, the Cannes Film Festivals, movie sets, interviews and articles were all part of our typical day to day. Life revolved around dad’s quest to achieve success by producing independent art. In public Lloyd Kaufman put on an intrepid rebellious act creating a fantasy world where nerdy superheroes mixed with “Tromettes” who had little clothing but big…brains. But in an alternate universe, the dad we knew at home was a very different person.

When he wasn’t dreaming up radioactive superheroes, directing full head crushing scenes, or parading up and down the Croisette at the Cannes Film Festival with a gaggle of his characters and bikini-clad ladies, our dad and our mom were serious and strict, drilling into our heads the importance of excelling in school, getting into a top college, and succeeding in our career.

But when it came to careers, dad was the poster child for pursing your passions and staying true to your vision. He refused to sell out to Hollywood, and accepted the tradeoffs that came with being the underdog. We witnessed first-hand the struggle dad went through behind the scenes to succeed. He scrambled to piece together financing for his films, he felt excluded from Hollywood, he was tormented by feeling that he wasn’t appreciated; he constantly felt that Hollywood and the big corporate conglomerate America was screwing him over and pushing him out.

Indeed our dad broke a few child labor laws, having us work 18 hours a day as “actors” – for free. He enjoyed killing us (fictionally) running us through with samurai swords or in other various gruesome ways. Whilst he was exposing us to sex, violence and explosions of fake bodily fluids, our mother made sure our dad and she made those important sacrifices in order to give us a top notch education. They also took us all around the world to ensure that our upbringing included a world view…of course a Toxie mask would travel with us so our father could take photos of Toxie at the Pyramids, Toxie in Yemen, Toxie in Machu Piccu, etc.

IN CONCLUSION The toxic avenger is our dad’s story of a 98 lb weakling nerd who after being thrown into a vat of toxic waste by bullies turns into a superhero and is accepted as the champion of the very same community that once shunned him, stole his lunch money and beat him to a pulp in the locker room. This is our story of acceptance, and this book is our dad’s vat of toxic waste.

It all boils down to the fans, so we turn it over to you!  So let us know, what do ya think?  what do we need to tell you about the real Lloyd Kaufman??

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4 thoughts on “We’re just Kids, LLOYD’S KIDS

  1. Strict, but loving parents that they were… Did your Mom and Dad make sure that when you were DATING anyone, that your dates were interested in YOU all as individuals, and not just THE DAUGHTERS du TROMA? Also… will we see films directed by any of YOU in the future? The toxic apple shouldn’t fall too far from the tree.

  2. I am looking forward to reading this. Everyone knows Lloyd a certain way, it is interesting to see from the other spectrum!

  3. Were the daughters allowed to watch Troma films growing up? What’s their favorite film directed by their father and why? What would Loyd say about the daughters starring in a Roger Corman film and baring their….souls? What were household dinners like? Were the discussions political, cultural? Being a mad genius, Loyd surely has had low moments, periods of depression. When a deal fell through or a film performed badly, would this affect him as a father? Does he sometimes seek isolation? Was he an avid reader? Film watcher? Did he take you to the cinemas in NYC? Any vivid memories of seeing a particular film with your father? Were you on set when they shot the fat guy running through Hell’s Kitchen in “Terra Firma?” Are any of you being prepped to take over Troma one day? If so, where would you like to see the company headed? What changes would you make? Any memories of Michael Herz and your father getting shitfaced and making fools of themselves? Did/does poppa Loyd show you rough cuts of his films to get your opinion? Do you give him honest criticism? What’s the worst memory you have on a Troma set? What’s the best memory? Did you ever have nightmares growing up starring Troma characters? Have you analyzed the symbolism of these nightmares?

  4. Does Lloyd Kaufman bring his children to the mecca of childhood “pleasepleasepleaseplease,” Disney World (even though it is a devil-worshipping, international media conglomerate)? I cant imagine how that conversation would go.

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